Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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