Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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