the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
