barbara walters just said penis...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
