do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
