Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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