My nipple is on Facebook.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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