i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
