I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Terrible idea I love it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
