That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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