our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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