these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
