Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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