a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
