My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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