dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
