If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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