I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
