Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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