I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
