Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
