After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
