you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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