is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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