i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
