hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
