All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
