so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
