The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
vagina is talking i cant
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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