bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
