woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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