remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
