so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
