I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
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dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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