either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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