Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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