..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
