I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
