i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
