Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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