Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
