so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
