no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
