please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize