I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
