I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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