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No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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