you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize