Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
