Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
