yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
