someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
as a side note pls kill me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
