She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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