its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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