Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
