and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
