I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize