I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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